So, imagine this.
You are about to give a speech to some forty people, consisting of mentors you look up to as well as your peers. Your speech determines whether you will be elected to a position of authority. You haven’t memorized the speech. You also didn’t write the speech yourself. It’s pretty safe to say that anyone in this position would feel a strong wave of anxiety and fear, manifested in sweaty palms, shaky and shallow breathing, and an utter inability to think.
Well, this was seven-year-old me in a class presidency election (going to grade school in China was a time). I stuttered through whatever parts of the speech I did memorize, all while bawling my eyes out in front of the crowd for a good ten minutes.
Why am I talking about this despite the amount of laughter (and possibly ridicule) this might elicit from my friends? Well, because as far as I can remember, this was the very first case of emotional hijacking I had experienced.
Emotional hijacking is often referred to as “amygdala hijacking”. The last time I spoke about the amygdala was in one of my first blog posts about fear conditioning. I’m returning to it today because (1) I’ve learned a lot more about it via personal experiences and (2) I’ve been goddamn stuck for ages on my other blog posts so I’m switching gears.
In any case, amygdala hijacking occurs when we perceive a threat that triggers our fight, flight, or freeze response. The amgydala triggers the release of a cascade of chemicals (adrenaline, cortisol) into our system; these chemicals relax our airways to allow for more oxygen intake, increase blood flow to allow for maximum strength and power utilization, break down blood sugar for more energy expenditure, and dilates our pupils to enhance our vision. This deeply instinctual reaction is the result of many years of evolution, and is incredibly effective in springing us into action. However, an active amgydala also immediately shuts off the neutral pathway to our prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for complex decision-making and our ability to be see multiple perspectives. Moreover, an active amygdala causes memory function to decrease. We’ve probably all said things we later regret in the heat of the moment, and that is the prime example of an amygdala hijack.
Throughout the years, I’ve experienced various flavors of amygdala hijacking. My seven-year-old self experienced loss of memory functions and “froze” in front of my audience. My fourteen-year-old self experienced the shallow breathing, the shaky voice when called on to play an A-minor scale on my flute in front of the whole band (mind you, woodwind instrument and shallow breathing do not mix well). And most recently, I lost the ability to think clearly and, more importantly, follow the instructions of my corner in the midst of a heated sparring match. There are varying degrees of amgydala hijacks, and these scenarios are cases where I can still vividly recall the moment even years later; however, I’ve probably lost my cool countless times when emotions ran high in arguments with family. Until recently, I’ve chalked this up to simply not being prepared enough or not brave enough or not calm enough, or basically not a good enough person, which only reinforces the viscious cycle (‘should’ statements are examples of cognitive disortions that prevent our brains from moving forward). But a kind soul reminded me that we are battling against many years of evolutionary conditioning here, so I shouldn’t be so harsh on myself.
If you’re still with me despite the long rant here, you might be wondering how to actually combat the amygdala hijack. I think there are a couple of key components:
Unfortunately I think these are still somewhat cookie-cutter advice for me to be sharing, but personally, a large part of finally trusting and applying these techniques stem from an understanding of the physiological response behind the triggers. Hopefully I’ve explained some of that here. If not, well, cut me some slack – I’m just trying to become a better person here and the journey ain’t so easy.
Written on April 3rd , 2021 by JY